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Parents'
Stories
Zaneta Pamela Franse
(God’s gracious gift)
09.07.04 – 11.10.04
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Looking
intently at the monitor, we could clearly see the tiny
little baby inside the womb. Only 20 weeks old. It was
Friday the 11th of June 2004 and as the sonographer was
taking the measurements, she declared, “Perfect!
Everything is perfect!” This was our first born and
we were over the moon. Little did we know the big shock
that awaited us a few weeks after the 20 week scan…
Our
darling baby daughter was born on the 9th of July 2004
at Southmead Hospital at 12:48. Only 24 weeks old and weighing
1lb 8oz (0.68 kg). She was born with a very strong heartbeat
and responded well when given oxygen. She was then transferred
to the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU) where the initial
brain scan came back all clear and her vital signs showed
up strong. She was just the tiniest, most gorgeous creature
on earth! We named her Zaneta which is of Hebrew origin
and means 'God's gracious gift'. Zaneta seemed to sail
through the first critical 72 hours.
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At
24 weeks gestation and weighing 1lb 8oz, Zaneta would have
been classed as an extremely premature, low-birth weight
baby. But that description failed in every respect to define
her fighting spirit. It failed to predict what she would
become: the most beautiful of jewels. When we were warned
that having a premature baby is a rollercoaster ride, we
never really fully appreciated what that would mean. If
you are brave enough to keep your eyes open during a rollercoaster
ride, you can see what lies ahead. You can anticipate the
ups and downs before they happen. With an
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extremely
premature baby there is no way of knowing what lies ahead.
One day is never the same as the next. One step forward
is just as easily followed by six steps backwards. But
with all the odds stacked against her, Zaneta seemed to
arrive with singleness of purpose and mind. As the book, "Living
miracles" says when talking about premature babies, "These
little babies know only how to fight. Giving up is a learned
process that, fortunately, they have not been
taught yet!" (Living
miracles: Stories of hope from parents of premature babies,
Kimberly A. Powell & Kim
Wilson). Zaneta was living proof of this.
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Zaneta
with Marco |
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Zaneta
with Amy
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Her
first operation came within a week of being born when she
had to undergo emergency surgery for a life-threatening
condition called necrotizing
enterocolitis (NEC).
Her second operation would follow within 6 weeks after
being diagnosed for a second time with ‘NEC’.
With each operation, Zaneta seem to bounce back even stronger
and even more prepared to take on the fight with whatever
life was going to throw at her. Apart from the episodes
of ‘NEC’, Zaneta suffered several severe bouts
of bradycardia which required ‘bagging’ (a
very unfortunate term used in medicine), had an operation
for ‘Broviac-Hickman’ line, ‘ROP’ (retinopathy
of prematurity), bouts of infection, seizures, weight loss,
losing electrolytes – the rollercoaster ride became
physically and emotionally exhausting.
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Life
became a day to day existence for us. Thankful for everyday
that passes where the news has been good, or not too bad.
And with a telephone now in the bedroom, it was a relief
not having the hospital ring up in the middle of the night
but yet you couldn’t go to bed without a certain
amount of uneasiness...just waiting for the phone to ring...But
in many ways we were also becoming used to receiving good
and bad news in the same day in the space of a few hours.
Our library of books on premature babies was growing by
the week. We spent hours on the internet trawling websites,
reading up about premature birth, the associated complications
as well as current research and developments happening
all over of the world.
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Like
most preemie parents, we became ‘experts’ at
reading the monitors and understanding the terminology
used. Initially we would jump at the opportunity to sit
in on the ward rounds, and try and talk to the consultants
whenever we could but as time progressed it didn’t
really matter that much. Partly ‘cause the news was
much the same but in most part ‘cause we just wanted
to spend time with Zaneta.
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Sadly,
a third bout of ‘NEC’ diagnosed on Sunday,
10 October 2004, left the whole of Zaneta’s gut infected.
Medically nothing more could be done for her. At about
17:55 on Monday, 11 October 2004, the ventilator was removed
and Zaneta passed away peacefully in our arms.
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Looking
back, Zaneta lived her 94 days to the fullest. Without
leaving her incubator at St Michael’s, Zaneta touched
more lives than most people would do in a life-time. In
94 days, she gave us a crash course in hope, humility and
love. And she grew. How she grew. From the tiniest of creatures
only weighing 1lb 8oz, she grew and became a beautiful
baby girl with a personality as unique as she was. Throughout
the journey our faith was what kept us going. Family and
friends provided incredible emotional and practical support.
And our local church rallied round us organizing prayer
meetings, visiting us, cooking meals and generally just
offering a shoulder to cry on. We were given the opportunity
and space to be honest about everything. Our hopes, fears,
disappointments, frustrations, anger and pain. In 94 days,
we captured a life-time of memories. Not just on camera
and video but spending so much time with Zaneta. Doing
her care, feeding her and doing kangaroo care. These are
things no money in the world can buy or replace. Zaneta
taught us that faith does not depend on outcomes but on
a God who brings good out of all circumstances.
We
still miss Zaneta every day and know we will never stop
missing her. The pain of losing her is still very intense
but we know, in time, the intensity will lessen and remembering
her will become a sweet memory that will last a life-time.
Amy
and Marco - December 2004 |
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